People I Can Do Without

To My Co-Worker:

We work together-well not really at the same time, but rather I come in right after you finish working. We use the same desk and due to the conditions I am left with when I return to work everyday, I can only conclude that you spend the entire time rubbing coco-butter all over yourself whilst devouring many hamburgers all day.

I arrive at work promptly on time, however you feel the need to stay 15 minutes after your shift at the desk leaving me to stand the fuck around wondering when your going to get your 400-pound-8-foot-tall-but-still-feels-the-need-to-wear-high-heels-and-a-hairstyle-that-raises -your-height-10-fucking-more-inches self out of the god damned office.

When you are finished with your bullshit, you leave the desk only for me to attempt to use a keyboard smothered in what I hope is coco-butter. Greased up, slippery & shiny is not how I enjoy my workspace. I gently wipe the keyboard down with a paper towel everyday in front of your unaware ass in hopes to send a message to wash your fucking hands once and a while.

The aftermath of the horrible unnecessary keyboard lubrication is not over yet however. I pick the keyboard up & sure enough there is of course; hamburger wrappers & plastic drink containers.

On some days I am brave enough to turn the keyboard upside down and give it a decent pat just to see all the dead skin flakes and finger nails that have accumulated inside fall out of it. Its one of those things that is too gross to look away from. It makes me somewhat nauseous but has proven to be useful when I am battling a boner at work situation.

I want to puke all over your greasy ass fountain like hair style when I see it. You are one annoying motherfucker. Why take a job like this if you can't clean up after your nasty ass, bitch?

eew! Not to get personal, but where do you and this nasty skank work?

A long, long time ago, at a computer desk not very far away, I got really drunk one night and was stupid enough to think it would be funny to leave this note on the computer. (This is all at home. I'm retired.) My wife works as a nurse on graveyard shift and she got home and read it. (It was a fucking joke! She's not really THAT bad, and she knows my twisted sense of humor.) Needless to say, my hangover was not helped at all by the one-sided, high volume response I got, but we were laughing about it later. I'll never do that shit again! Whew!! (At least not with a hangover, hehehehehehehehehe!)

That sounds like something my husband would do. Only I would probably never forgive him (well, maybe..it depends on how much sucking up he did afterward) and he KNOWS better than to call me a bitch. I try not to be one, so when I get called one, my logic is "ok, you think I'm being a bitch huh? Well I'll show you what being a bitch is so that you have something to compare it to the next time that word starts to dart across your lips.". But seriously, that's pretty freaking hilarious to do that when you're drunk. That's a mean trick, but it's great that you two were able to laugh about it later. I just could not imagine the look on my face if that were to ever happen to me. My husband had better hope he drank himself into a coma when I found that letter. If not, he would soon be in one! LMFAO good story!

1.A stranger on a plane who wants to tell me about his bowel movements.
2.People who whistle cowboy songs during a funeral.
3.Anyone who refers to Charles Manson as "Chuck".
4.A tall man with a Slavik accent wearing a bow tie made of human flesh.
5.Anyone who can ingest a quart of vegetable soup up their nose in one long snort.
6.Any guy named "Dogmeat" whose body has over 6 square feet of scar tissue.
7.People with large gums and small teeth.
8.A retarded 12 year old who carries more than 6 large knives.
9.Homely, flat-chested women who wear a "Foxy Lady" shirt.
10.A waiter in a fine restaurant with vomit on his shoes.

holy shit ABBfan is on a tare this morning

LMFAO! I think I know a few of those people....wow.........

I can do without the people of this world who use the economy as a poor excuse for being cheap and wanting something for free.

I DON"T WORK FOR FREE!!!!! And, my knowledge of what I do is what you pay for. Go to Walmart and get your hair done..

People that can not make up their mind drive me crazy.